


Good Vibrations

by DRHPaints



Series: Kinky Bill One Shots [11]
Category: Actor RPF, American (US) Actor RPF, Bill Hader - Fandom, Bill Hader RPF, US Comedians RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Butt Plugs, Double Penetration, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Nonbinary Character, One Shot, Other, Rimming, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:54:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26254486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRHPaints/pseuds/DRHPaints
Summary: Bill has to go to a meeting at HBO, so he leaves his non-binary lover Robin at home with a vibrating butt plug which he controls remotely, riling them up while he’s away. When he returns, Robin and Bill head straight to the bedroom.For phantomofthegallifreyanopera <3
Relationships: Bill Hader/Original Non-binary Character
Series: Kinky Bill One Shots [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877902
Kudos: 4





	Good Vibrations

**Author's Note:**

> TW/CW: The original nonbinary character Robin is assigned female at birth and in reference to their genitalia I use the word 'clit.'

Alarm blaring, Bill’s hand groped senselessly in the air for a moment before he managed to slap his phone on the bedside stand and turn it off. Rolling over, he stretched, leg shaking a little as he opened one bleary eye and tried to bring Robin into focus.

“Morning.” Bill smiled.

Yawning, Robin tried to blink themselves awake. “Good morning. How’d you sleep?”

Shrugging, Bill scratched his stubble. “Okay, I guess. I have a feeling I had a really weird dream, but I barely remember it now. Something about…” Digging a palm into his eye, Bill frowned. “A lost cat. And a circus. And I think John was there as a carnival barker? But for some reason he looked like a marionette…”

Robin chuckled. “Well, doesn’t sound like a bad one at least.”

Bill shook his head. “How about you?” 

“Well…” A mischievous smile grew over Robin’s face. “I had a dream about you, actually.” They reached over to play with Bill’s sleep-mussed hair.

“Oh yeah?” Bill raised his eyebrows, encircling their waist with a strong arm and pulling Robin close. “What about?”

“Hmm…” Scooting closer, Robin caressed Bill’s firm chest. “Well, I remember that big cock of yours being in my mouth…”

Chuckling, Bill’s hand traveled down to Robin’s ass. “I like the sound of that. Anything else?”

Nestling under Bill’s neck, Robin brushed a kiss to his sharp jaw. “I don’t know, it was just one of those dreams that felt so…” Their hand trickled down Bill’s body, encircling his morning erection. “ _ Real. _ ”

Bill caught Robin’s mouth with his light pink lips, sneaking his tongue past their teeth and rolling on top of them, humming. Large hand creeping between their legs, Bill stroked the slickness surrounding Robin’s clit, circling slowly until they softly moaned under his mouth.

Breaking away, Bill sighed and reached over to look at his phone with an expression of dismay. “Ah fuck, if I don’t go now I’m going to be late for this meeting at HBO.”

“What?” Robin gasped in exasperation. “Bill, you’re not just going to  _ leave _ me here like this?”

Smiling wickedly, Bill rolled his hips, causing his hard cock to glide between Robin’s thighs and over their clit. “Oh, I think I am.” Bill smirked, raising his eyebrows before pushing himself up from the bed.

“ _ Bill! _ ” Sitting up on their elbows, Robin looked at him incredulously as Bill grabbed a shirt from the closet.

Giggling, Bill closed his dark blue eyes and nodded. “Okay, I have an idea, hang on.” Rifling in the depths of the closet, Bill unearthed a small shopping bag. “I picked this up last week. I was saving it for a special occasion, but why don’t we give it a try today?”

Pulling out a box and unwrapping it, Bill handed Robin a small black rubber object which they squeezed curiously. “What is it?”

“A vibrating butt plug.” Bill grinned. “Controlled remotely with an app.” He waved his phone in the air. “I want you to wear it while I’m at my meeting today.” Putting his tongue to his teeth, Bill took Robin’s chin between his long fingers. “I’ll play with you from there.” Lowering his face, Bill brushed Robin’s lips. “It’ll be so sexy thinking of you squirming around here waiting for me.”

Smiling, Robin nodded. “Okay, I like the sound of that.”

Scrunching his fingers through their hair, Bill grinned. “Good. Flip over and show me that beautiful ass.”

Turning to their stomach, Bill retrieved the lube from their bedside drawer, applying some to his fingers. Spreading their cheeks, he rubbed the pads of his fingertips delicately over Robin’s hole for a moment, and couldn’t resist sliding inside, swirling around and scissoring them apart for a couple of minutes, enjoying the spread of Robin beneath him.

”Alright.” Bill applied some lube to the butt plug before inserting it deep inside, biting his lip as he watched Robin’s body absorb it. “There we go. Let’s test this out.” Bringing up the app on his phone, Bill tried out the lowest setting first.

“Oh!” Robin's eyebrows shot up as the vibrations began and the gentle internal hum pulsed through them. “Well, that’s...pleasant. Hmm.”

Eyeing them, a mischievous grin spread over Bill’s handsome face. “And just for the sake of... _ research _ . Here’s the highest setting.” 

Tapping it, Robin’s fingers splayed on the sheets and they gasped. “ _ Fuck! _ ” 

Breaking out in a peal of giggles, Bill nodded approvingly. “Rad. Now,” He patted Robin’s ass and they turned to him as Bill sat on the edge of the bed. “If you’re good…” Bill hooked a hand around the back of their head, bringing Robin near and kissing their neck, his stubble grazing. “And you can resist touching yourself until I get back…” Taking Robin’s ear between his teeth, Bill tugged a little. “ _ I’ll fuck you senseless. _ ”

Shivering, Robin squeezed one of Bill’s thick thighs, aching to grab his cock, but they knew Bill wouldn’t let them. “I’ll do my best.”

Drawing them into a passionate kiss, Bill pulled back with a smile before leaving the bed to gather the rest of his clothes and rush to the shower. Watching him walk away, stiff cock straining below his navel, Robin flopped back on the bed in a huff.  _ He’s probably getting off in there without me. Bastard.  _ Flexing their fingers and kicking their heels, Robin could tell it was going to be a long day.

Giving Bill a last kiss goodbye, Robin got dressed in the hopes it would help diminish their thoughts about sex. They paced around the house, eventually deciding to pick up the collection of Alice Munro stories Bill recommended. Halfway through the third tale, the buzzing began.

Strolling into the HBO offices right on time, Bill greeted Alec. “Hey buddy, how’s it going?”

“Hey man, good to see you.” Alec clapped him on the shoulder. Moments later an assistant showed them into the office.

“Oh, one sec.” Holding up a finger, Bill fished his phone out of his pocket, tapping the lowest setting for Robin before heading into the meeting. “Sorry, just wanted to put it on silent.” He grinned.

Finding the book wasn’t a significant enough distraction to keep their hands above the waist, Robin shuffled to the living room, shaking out their shoulders and grinding their teeth. The new episode of  _ Forensic Files _ unwatched, Robin imagined Bill would be disappointed that they chose to view it without him, but figured since he devised this little torture, he would have to deal with it as they hit play.

Alec and Bill were hammering out contracts with their agents and the executives and it was taking longer than anyone expected, so they all decided to take a ten minute break. Pulling up his screen, Bill smirked to himself as he ticked Robin up to the second level.

Fingers digging into the couch, Robin’s nose flared and they took deep, slow breaths. Suddenly they were finding it difficult to give a damn whether the husband or the best friend killed the victim, and they wiggled on the cushion, trying in vain to escape the reverberations echoing through their body.

Meeting complete, Bill waved to Alec as he strode to the car. Peering at his phone, he narrowed his eyes and ran his tongue over his teeth inside his mouth. Even in decent traffic, it would take Bill at least half an hour to get home. With a sinful chuckle, Bill drew his finger over the highest setting, tucking his phone back in his pocket and starting the car.

“Fuck, Bill _ , fuck! _ ” Robin gasped, forehead on the arm of the couch, rubbing their thighs together speedily like a cricket as they writhed. They tuckeked their hands under their arms, desperate to keep their fingers from between their thighs as the throbbing pulse rocked through Robin’s depths.

Casually sauntering through the front door, Bill tossed his keys down with a self-satisfied smile. “Honey? I’m home.” Face spreading into his crooked, goofy grin that exposed his rounded teeth, Bill observed Robin as they came to their knees on the couch. They looked like something out of a 1950’s insane asylum. Hair sticking up in every direction, eyes wild, chest heaving, mouth practically a snarl, and clothes so rumpled and wrinkled from their thrashing it’s a wonder they managed to stay on.

Crossing his arms and leaning against the wall, Bill grinned. “So,” He lifted his eyebrows, tongue at the corner of his teeth. “How was  _ your _ day?”

Expression bestial, Robin advanced on him, growling. “ _ You better come fuck me right goddamn now. _ ”

Bill narrowed his cobalt eyes. Pursed his light pink lips. “Hmm.” He hesitated. Then sighed. “Fine.” With a wide grin he pounced, mashing their mouths together and hoisting Robin into his arms, Bill carried them back to the bedroom. Tongues dancing, Bill threw them onto the bed, shedding his jacket and kicking off his shoes before standing up and flipping Robin over.

Tugging down their shorts, Bill spread Robin’s cheeks and retrieved the butt plug, tossing it aside before peeling his shirt overhead and slinking out of his jeans and boxers. Robin whipped off their own shirt, coming to their knees and craning their head back to fuse their lips to Bill’s once more. 

Fingers mercifully weaving between their thighs, Bill ground his hard cock over the crack of Robin’s ass and his breath was warm against their ear. “Were you good for me today?”

“Yes, Bill.” Robin swallowed, reaching back to play with his chestnut locks.

“Mmm…” Bill hummed, dragging his lips over their neck. “Guess I’ll have to reward you then.” Separating from them, Robin squeaked in objection as Bill scrambled under the bed for a decorative box, unearthing a long, pink g-spot vibrator with a severe curve. Resuming his spot behind them, Bill placed a hand at the top of Robin’s back. “Bend over.”

Acquiescing, Robin rested on their forearms and Bill guided their knees apart. Setting the vibrator on the bed for a moment, Bill began by using both of his big hands to separate their thighs, digging his sharp jaw forward and hungrily lapping at their clit.

“ _ Oh fuck, Bill...yes! _ ” Robin exclaimed, resting their forehead on the mattress and pushing back against Bill’s eager face. Once Robin was wet and needy before him, Bill retracted, twisting on the vibrator and delicately running the buzzing tip over Robin’s clit for a moment before driving it deep inside. Back arching, Robin moaned as Bill tilted it until he hit the soft patch of nerves that made their eye twitch. 

Using the fingers of one hand, Bill spread Robin’s cheeks and began licking their hole, circling the tense muscle until he pointed his tongue and pressed inside. Twirling, Bill’s stubble chafed as he ate at them and began plunging the vibrator in and out. 

“ _ Fuck, Bill, fuck! Yes! Just like that! _ ” Gasping groans trickling from their lips, Robin pistoned their thighs back against Bill, forcing his tongue and the vibrator ever-deeper as they fisted their hands in the sheets.

Excited by their noises of arousal, Bill moaned inside of Robin, mouth working voraciously as he curved his hand around to spin over their clit. Thighs quaking, Robin began to clench the vibrator with each upstroke, panting a wet spot into the sheets as their moans rose to screams.

“ _ Bill! Yes! I’m gonna cum! Fuck! FUCK! _ ” Body constricting, their thighs closed around Bill’s hand and they nearly tipped over, Bill turning down the dial on the vibrator but allowing it to remain inside as Robin trembled.

Emerging, Bill massaged the small of Robin’s back as their chest heaved. After giving them a moment to recover, Bill scooped Robin to his chest, lips touching the back of their neck. “You want me to fuck you in the ass now?”

“Yeah.” Robin nodded wearily. “Fuck me, Bill.” Tenderly turning their head with one hand, Bill knit their mouths together before pulling back and studying Robin with his oceanic eyes, smiling. Stepping back, he picked up the lube, applying it to himself and to Robin before positioning the head of his cock over their hole. 

“You ready?” Bill asked softly. Robin nodded and Bill slowly tipped forward, letting out a groan of satisfaction as the pressure of Robin’s body encapsulated him. Letting out a breathy gasp, Robin leaned back against Bill, mouths meeting as he began thrusting. Hands moving between their legs, Bill flipped the vibrator back on and fiddled their clit, working all three in tandem to whip Robin into a frenzy.

“ _ Oh fuck, Bill! That’s amazing! Yes! _ ” Robin called out, bouncing on his cock and the vibrator, eyelids fluttering as high-pitched grunts were rattled from their chest.

Shifting a knee, Bill angled himself and pounded into Robin in earnest. “Yeah, you like that? Do I make you feel good? Huh? You like how I fuck you?”

“ _ Yes, Bill, yes! _ ” Robin cried, hand curling back to tug at his dark hair as their body started to quake. “ _ I love fucking you! You make me cum so hard, Bill! Fuck! FUCK! _ ”

Clapping into them wildly, Bill’s voice sank deep as he nipped at their neck and spoke through gritted teeth. “ _ Yeah, cum for me, Robin! Fucking cum for me! I love making you scream! Fucking cum! Cum for me! _ ”

“ _ Bill! Fuck! I love you! Bill! Fuck! _ ” Eyes rolling, had Bill’s arms not been wrapped around them, Robin would have fallen forward in their convulsions. As it was Bill had to bend to steady them as they screamed his name, seizing and dripping over his fingers as their body violently constricted around his cock.

“Oh  _ fuck. _ ” Bill dipped his forehead against their back at the increased pressure, breath shallow as he turned off the vibrator between Robin’s legs. “Fuck, I’m so close.”

“Cum inside me, Bill.” Robin breathed, bending over onto their elbows. “I love it when you fill me with your cum.”

With a shuddering breath, Bill nodded, clamping his hands over their pelvis and slamming his hips forward. “Fuck yeah, you like that? You want my cum?”

“ _ Yes, Bill! Fuck! I love your big cock! Give me your cum! Please! I love it! _ ” Eyes squeezing tight and biting his lip, Bill whimpered as he dragged Robin’s body against himself, rocketing forward.

“ _ Yeah! Fuck! Yes! Robin! I’m gonna cum! Fuck! Fuck! _ ” Bill’s shoulders curled inward and he dug into Robin’s hips hard enough to leave bruises the next day. “ _ Fuck, Robin! I love you! Fuck! FUCK! _ ” With a high whine his body strained and Bill quivered, shooting warm cum into Robin and collapsing forward, managing to brace himself with one hand on the mattress, sweaty chest plastered to Robin’s back.

Gulping for air, it was a couple of moments before Bill stood on unsteady legs, smacking Robin’s ass before falling on the bed beside them. Robin removed the vibrator from between their legs, smiling at Bill and tracing his sculpted jawline.

“That was wonderful.”

Nodding, Bill leaned in to kiss their forehead, tasting Robin’s salty skin. “Certainly made my meeting more fun.”

Raising an eyebrow, a devilish smirk grew over Robin’s face as they played with Bill’s smattering of dark chest hair. “Maybe next time I leave the house, I’ll control the remote and we’ll see if you can be good while I’m gone.” 

Bill giggled. “Sounds like a plan.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! If you enjoyed this story, please leave a comment or come say hi on tumblr at fandomtransmandom. I also take requests!


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